Why in the heck?
by Super Shayde
Summary: Four short, random scenarios of the Azumanga Daioh universe. Thank you Alejandro aka Kaworukun for the challenges.


Yomi Mizuhara was tossing and turning in her bedsheets. This was not particularly strange at the time, as she was having a nightmare of horrific proportions.

_Yomi turned, and found herself looking at her reflection in a mirror. To her horror, she was unbelievably obese. "But, I've been dieting for months!" she wailed as she crumpled to a heap on the ground. _

_"What's wrong, Yomi?" Tomo asked, suddenly appearing._

_"Just look at me!" Yomi continued to sob. Tomo handed her a handkerchief that smelled of orange soda. Yomi ignored this gesture._

_"But that's how you've always looked!" Tomo said, grinning from ear to ear in all her superhuman-skinniness. "You've always weighed 100,000,000 pounds!"_

_"I HAVE NOT!" Yomi screamed in fury, and tried to advance on Tomo. However, she realized she could not even move due to her magnitude._

_She began to sob uncontrollably again, and with every tear she gained another fifteen pounds._

_Tomo laughed maniacally, pointing at Yomi in glee. Suddenly, she reached out a hand to slap Yomi's head repeatedly._

_"Why in the heck?_

_Why in the heck?_

_Why in the heck?_

_Why in the heck?_

_Why in the heck?_

_Why in the heck? ..."_

Yomi woke, sweating profusely. _Why in the heck?_ was still echoing ominously in her ears. What was that supposed to mean, anyway?

She decided not to ponder this phrase and instead vowed to diet for the rest of her life. She cringed as she looked at her sweaty, pajama-clad self.

---

Miss Sakaki was strolling down the block in a daydreamy state. At usual, she was preoccupied with the thought of snuggly, fuzzly, adorable kittens.

And then...she saw it.

Kamineko, the Biting Cat.

Her cheeks flushed pink at the sight of the adorable kitty. No matter how sharp-toothed he was, she couldn't stop herself from approaching him. Perhaps, she should just not attempt touching him...

But no. Her hand was reaching out as if of its own accord. She screwed her eyes shut, preparing herself for the usual bite.

She felt no familiar teeth closing over her fingers. Her eyes opened warily, and there was Kamineko, peering cute as ever up at her. Amazed, she launched her hand towards his furry head.

And for once in her life, she felt his soft, silky fur. Her head was spinning with delight.

A split second later, she fainted dead away.

She finally rose of her own accord five hours later.

"What happened...?" she wondered groggily. She had no clue. Sakaki stood, straightening out her clothes.

Her eyes met Kamineko's. _Maybe I'll have good luck today, _she pondered.

Her hand was met with the most ferocious reception of all. Her eyes welled with tears threatening to spill over.

She returned home, sniffling dejectedly. It seemed she would never win.

And thus, the happiest moment of Miss Sakaki's life thus far went unremembered.

---

Yukari and Nyamo were inexplicably together, for the millionth time. Despite their frequent animosity of each other, it seemed they always came back to one another.

"Let's go out for a drink!" Yukari crowed, also for the millionth time. "It's your turn to pay, Nyamo."

"I paid last time," Minamo sighed, "You say this everytime. And I'm not going to let you get drunk again. Last time you threw up all over my toaster."

"What's your bright idea of where to go, then?" Yukari demanded, looking significantly put out.

"It's a surprise. You'll know when we get there," Minamo replied. She would come up with something.

They ended up nowhere else but the ice cream parlor.

Minamo opted for strawberry. Yukari was considerably surly and refused to choose for herself. She ended up with vanilla.

"This is so boring, Nyamo. Typical stupid gym teacher idea," Yukari whined, "I want sake."

Nyamo decided to ignore her, and this only made her companion yet more agitated.

Suddenly, Yukari sped out of the shop. Minamo leapt out of her chair and shrieked, "Where are you going?! Come back, you --"

But it was no use. Yukari had up and gone.

Minamo went back to her seat and lay her head down on the miniscule table. Yukari was going to get unbelievably drunk, show up at her front door, and probably puke all over another one of her kitchen appliances, she just knew it.

Surprisingly, Yukari returned in several minutes. However, she was carrying a large bottle of sake.

"Oh no you don't," Nyamo protested, wrenching the bottle from Yukari's grip. Yukari, obviously, tried to get it back into her own grasp.

Sometime during the hubbub, the bottle was rendered open. As Yukari continued pulling, the expensive drink slopped all over her forgotten ice cream.

"WHAT DID YOU DO, NYAMO?!" Yukari shrieked shrilly, "HOW STUPID CAN ONE GYM TEACHER BE?!"

"It's not my fault!" Nyamo said loudly, "If you want your sake so badly, then eat the ice cream, for god's sake. Or lick it off the floor if you must. Don't go blaming me."

Yukari glared at Nyamo the whole way home, but did take the cup of ice cream on the way out of the parlor.

"Not bad at all," she had to admit.

---

It was dusk on a summer's day.

Sakaki was peering out of her window, and Chiyo's father was strolling down the street.

"Red things," he informed her, "Red things are two blocks away. I must see to this right away."

She gave him a sharp nod. "I...I understand."

He levitated from the ground and began to float away in the direction he had indicated.

Sakaki blinked.

She blinked again.

Her head met the pillow.

She fell asleep, and dreamed of all the red in the world.

---


End file.
